Genius of the Rhineland

I am known as The Genius Of The Rhineland amongst the people who live there. They shout things like "Here comes Hans - the genius of the Rhineland!" and " Goodness me! It's Hans! For certain, he is coming this way!"

It is difficult being this brilliant. My wife teases me with my sausages just to get a reaction. I think it is jealousy on her part for I am brilliant and she is not. She knows that by touching my sausage against my will, she is guaranteed to get a reaction: A spark of passion in an otherwise dead marriage.